On My Own
When I was growing up, I was learning to stand on my own early. Some might say that standing on my own two feet means that I could walk independently while being a toddler or a preschooler, but that meant a lot of things for me.
My aunt’s house helper used to lock me up in our room whenever I would come home from school. Even if I wanted to pee, I couldn’t since there was a big possibility that she would hurt me if I went outside of the room. During that time, I thought it was a “normal” way to discipline a child — but it isn’t. I had to think of ways to survive, even if that meant peeing on my mother’s unused sanitary napkins as makeshift diapers for the sake that my bladder wouldn’t suffer any damage. From that moment on, I told myself that I wouldn’t tell anyone my problems unless I could not take them anymore.
Some might say that I am too independent. I won’t deny that because I am a person who won’t depend on others. If I could recall it correctly, my classmate in 7th Grade told me that she is amazed by how I can solve things on my own without the help of other people. It is both a gift and a curse — since I tend to do everything on my own during group work, especially when I like the assigned topic.
Since I started schooling, my friends and teachers would always tell me that I have a powerful personality. Although I never realized that I am a dominant person, I firmly believe that I assert dominance in certain situations, especially since I have been a student-leader for more than ten years now. My experience in student leadership taught me how to maintain myself and control my reactions depending on the situation that I am currently facing. I like to use my dominant attitude to my advantage. I utilize that skill most when I lead other people in a specific task or when facing conflict with another person.
I am a person who could easily influence and get influenced by other people. I deal with how I would like others to treat me — with kindness and concern. I could easily relate to other people, for I believe that I am empathic. Whenever a friend would share something with me, I would first try to put myself in their situation. How would I react? What would I do? Will I overthink, or will I analyze the situation thoroughly? In that way, I could give them advice that is sensible and not unsolicited. I believe that I communicate with others so that they would easily understand what I am saying. I adjust my choice of words depending on the person I am talking to. However, when someone is treating me in a way that I do not like or cannot bear, I still treat them with kindness because I believe they are mean persons as they lack compassion and care from other people.
In my day-to-day life, I use a notebook where I list all the things I need to accomplish since I currently do not own a planner. It still works as a planner; I would list a particular subject, write the tasks and deadlines under it, and use Google Calendar to schedule my activities. Since I have Bipolar Disorder comorbid with Anxiety Disorder, I always need to be occupied. I cannot be stagnant; being stagnant would only lead to an idle mind, and having an idle mind would lead to severe depressive episodes. To cope with this kind of disorder, I decided to join multiple organizations in and out of the school. I joined the Campus Ministry, Bulilit Storytellers, MCTV, and Chi Rho (although I’m still waiting for the next step in my application). Outside school, I am a member of the Social Communications Ministry of St. Joseph the Worker Parish and a Media & Creatives Ministry member of Feast Ortigas Galleria — Thursday session. I also applied as an Online English Tutor so that I could work during the night. I want to do that to have extra money during rainy days and be able to start investing at an early age. I also see that I regularly attend seminars and workshops to further boost my knowledge in different aspects of society. I organize my time by scheduling every single appointment using Google Calendar with the help of color-coding. That way, I am aware of which aspect of life that assignment is related to. I find that time-blocking your schedule is effective, and you end up saving more time. When I have free time, I usually stay in coffee shops and read books or watch a few episodes of my favorite series. I make it a point that I have a work-school-life balance. Having everything balanced prevents me from being burnt out.
I wouldn’t like to label myself as a patient person because there are moments when I tend to lose patience — moments when I want to scream at people for being ineffective or inefficient. Despite that, I have realized that to be patient with others, I have to be patient with myself first.
In my almost 20 years of existence, I saw that life would throw a lot of problems at you, especially when you are chasing your dream. You will get frustrated, demotivated, lost, and tired of your passions. It will even come to the point that you will decide to forget everything to start a new slate. Despite that, you will still need to persist no matter what happens.
I could say that I am a thoughtful person. During Christmas time, or whenever a close friend of mine is celebrating their birthday, I try to give them something that they would be able to use in their lives as a gift. Thoughtfulness could be seen in other ways, too; it could be checking on a friend experiencing problems, lending a hand to someone who is having a hard time, and remembering the small, significant, and in-between details of things.
My DISC Personality Type is this: You have a strong inner motivation to influence people and circumstances. You thrive in competitive situations and challenging assignments. The stresses and pressures of everyday work and life are unlikely to reduce your effectiveness and enthusiasm.
I wouldn’t beg to differ because the results are indeed accurate. Each word in that personality test result reflects who I am as a person. I am someone who thrives in competitive situations and challenging assignments because I’m not someone who will settle for less. In my vocabulary, paying for something means being complacent. I will never be satisfied because I will always strive to get better or even the very best every single time. I work well under stress and pressure, which means that I have more reasons to do specific tasks in a quicker, more efficient way.
